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Jan. 9, 2023

The hard truth is that you are the one preventing your growth


It's possible to obsess about healing our trauma to the point we become part of the problem and not the solution. Why can we often spend more time thinking about our lives than we do actually living them? The key is to find balance. It's important to take the time to process our emotions, but it's also important to focus on the present moment and enjoy life in the here and now. We can still learn from our past experiences, but we don't have to be defined by them.

We sabotage our own journey through the obsession to heal more efficiently and better than we did yesterday. If we don't allow ourselves to embody the life we are living and find joy in it, we will never break free. It's important to take a step back and look at the bigger picture - our lives as a whole, not just the parts that are still healing. Then take proper action daily to experience it.

When we don't take action we often find ourselves wondering what the point of all the work to heal is. It helps to remind ourselves that healing is a process and that it takes time. It's important to be kind to ourselves and give ourselves permission to take breaks when needed. Healing should be something we do for ourselves, not something that causes us stress or anxiety perpetuating the cycle.

We have become conditioned to think that there is a final destination to get to. That we will reach a point where we can say, that's it, I'm healed and whole. We spend so much time trying to check boxes on a goal list that we forget it's not how much we accomplish that measures our success it's the experiences we have during the process that causes us to evolve and that is where success lies. You will never reach a finish line with healing the pain of the past, there is no first-place award or time stamp that you're finally finished. The reason is that we are always evolving, what we think will make us happy today will most likely not be what makes us happy a year from now.  We cannot really quantify healing trauma and have to recognize that the way we think today will not be the way we think tomorrow. I myself have had certain aspects of healing or specific events from my trauma that I feel differently about today than I did when I first took steps to heal. I often will have a new portion that stands out to me that I was not able to process in the rawness of the beginning stages but am certainly able to reflect on and process today. That is how I look for growth in my own journey. It may be different for you and that's ok, healing is not one size fits all, it is tailored to each of our own specific needs and emotional capacities. 

Hold space for your healing but also hold space for life. After all, life is meant to be lived and the experiences are what we take with us not the checklists and certainly not the baggage of the past. Take action today to ensure you are living your life and enjoying it. Say yes more often and connect with other people who fill your world with possibility, hope, and love. In the end, that's what matters most.